Tis the season for office parties, mixers, family & religious celebrations.  A time to mingle with friends and colleagues.  No other period during the year offers such a wealth of fun opportunities to connect and cultivate relationships.  Eat. Mingle.  Be Merry.   Take advantage of building relationships as the focus shifts from business to people.

Below are some key ingredients to enhance your networking recipe during this holiday season.  A teaspoon here, dash there and pinch of spice, you can distinguish yourself and leave people craving more!

A cup of ATTENDING: There are a plethora of mixers, parties, receptions, performances, events; you get my point.  Strive to attend as many of these gatherings as possible and make time to enjoy yourself while there. Mingle. Catch up with colleagues and make new connections for the New Year.  Attend those events you want as well as others where you appearance may be more obligated, you never know who you will meet.  For the more popular among us, you will likely have to party hop; so be careful and make sure to greet the hosts and thank them before making an early exit.

A teaspoon of HOSTING:  Take the stress out of the holidays and host your own intimate mixer or reception, alone or with a friend. No gifts. No pot luck dishes, just camaraderie and conversation.  Bonus: You get to control the guest list.  Invite people from various circles in which you travel, who likely will not know one another.  You will be amazed at the relationships that will form and praise you will receive for being the connector.  Provide the food and wine.  You can ask everyone bring a bottle of wine or spirit to share.  Remember the goal: Stress Free. Your guests don’t want more work, gifts to get, food to prepare etc…

Sprinkle in some GOOD WISHES:  Take 15 minutes each day between now and the end of the year to wish people well.  A simple phone call or email will suffice.  Just let people know you were thinking of them this holiday season.  This personal gesture and kindness will make a lasting impact.  Ideal while you are stuck in traffic or waiting on an appointment.

A pinch of DIRTY SANTA:  If tradition holds true you will get invited to a Dirty Santa or White Elephant party. No doubt there are other names for this gift exchange program.  Essentially each attendee brings a wrapped gift (or re-gifts something from the year prior) and everyone participates in a series of selecting presents and stealing those they like from others. Personally, I love this game and am always entertained and laughing the entire time.  Even when I wound up with the sample pack of perfume (perfect for the following year)! Typically “Dirty” refers to the gift stealing and other times it can refer to more “naughty” gifts. Make sure you know your audience and hosts (i.e. are kids participating) before you decide how risqué a gift to bring!

A dash of DONATION: Many professional organizations, trade associations, chambers etc. host holiday mixers for their members.  They often seek to entice attendance with door prizes and giveaways.  Donate something.  If your product/service would not be appealing to the typical attendee, purchase a gift or gift certificate.   Its inexpensive exposure for you and demonstrates your support of the organization.

Cream the CHEESE and add to mixture:  Have a digital camera?  Or even an iPhone?  Good, you are now the official party photographer.  “When Office Parties Go Wild” Take 1.  Taking pictures and gathering groups together for shots is an instant icebreaker and conversation starter.  A camera is a wonderful resource for introverts, as you now have an innocent excuse to talk to people and a prop, which captures the moment.  (You must actually be taking pictures) We all cherish a little basking in the limelight of a flash. Post party, you have a direct angle to follow up.  Within a few days, load the pictures on one of many online photo galleries (kodakgallery.com, snapfish.com, yahoo photos) and send out the link for others to view, or simply email pictures to those who are in them with a short note.

Fold-in a little VOLUNTEERING: Tis the time to be thankful and help others in need. No doubt you have given all year, especially with the many disasters we have witnessed over the past year and the millions suffering due to the economic challenges. But give of your time and soul.  Ring a bell for the Salvation Army, adopt an angel or simply serve a hot meal at a homeless shelter.  A little extra dose of good karma will serve us and our fellow man in the year ahead.

Blend the existing batter with a cup of RE-CONNECTING:  Lost touch with co-workers, colleagues, college friends or even family? Now is the time to rekindle the communication.  Re-Connect!  The holidays offer you the perfect excuse to call someone you haven’t talked to in years to wish them “Happy Holidays.” Find out what they are up to and fill them in on your life (the abridged version, please). You’ve re-opened the door so Stay in touch. Reconnect with three people every day.

Be sure to sift out the SCROOGE:  We all have stress during this season.  Wrapping up year end items at the office, preparing for family bonding and of course the shopping adventures.  Don’t be the Grinch who spoiled the office party with a bad attitude.  Put on a happy face or stay at home!

From the OFFICE ELF:  Utilize your creative juices. If you are good in the kitchen (baking that is) create a tasty treat or if you are more the artistic type make something unique.  If like me, you have no talent, purchase a treat or find something inexpensive that you can buy and give one to all your office mates. During a slow moment, walk around from office to office or cube to cube and share a small gift with each person.  This gives you a special chance to personally say hello and wish your co-workers a joyous season. Don’t overlook the power of internal company relationships. Seize this season as a moment to create new bonds and deliver something to those in your office, including your boss.

Brush on a little EMAIL FLARE: Infuse some holiday spice into your email signature. Add something creative, such as a phrase or quote you like, a holiday picture or even your favorite cookie recipe.  Change this item every week to keep the thought fresh.  View this as an opportunity to express yourself and show something about which others may be unaware.

Before placing in the oven, BECAUSE YOU CARE, Send season’s greetings cards after December 25. More likely your card won’t get lost in the slew of others that arrive before December 25.  As an alternative for those who prefer the animation and no shopping aspect of E-cards, there are several sites that offer electronic cards for the holidays: (bluemountain.com, hallamark.com, usagreetings.com).  For a twist, try a new service called Send Out Card, who recently has changed their pricing to be more affordable in small quantities. I personally use their service and love it all year round.   http://www.sendoutcards.com/sbn.   You can personalize the message and schedule a delivery date.

Now just sit back and wait for the finished product, but be careful of those MISTLETOE MANNERS:  Beware there are some stealthy folks out there with visions of amore dancing in their heads and mistletoe concealed in their pockets or purses.  Whether a result of over-indulgence in adult beverages or simply moved by the holiday spirit, every party has at least one such bandit running amuck. Be on the look out. They prey on the unsuspecting and quiet.  Should you become ensnared in their trap, offer a quick hug or peck on the cheek and get moving!!
Beyond that you are entering a new frontier of networking for which I must refer you to another professional.

Oh, and I almost forgot,
DRINK & BE  MERRY:  The holidays are meant to be enjoyed and fun.  Indulge in good food and good company.  Know your limits and pace yourself.  With the proliferation of smart phones and their amazing abilities to capture, store and instantly post your every move to the wild west web and Facebook, Twitter, etc.. (Thanks Steve J).  Word to the wise, any mishaps will end up on the Internet for all to see, including your mom!  Don’t be the one who makes naked Xeroxes on the office copier, pulls out the Chicken Dance or ambushes others with mistletoe — as I can assure you that you do not what to be referred to as the “incident” from last year around the water cooler in January.

Feel free to reach me with any questions and feel free to share your stories or add your tips as comments.

Have a wonderful, safe and healthy holiday season.   Happy Networking!

I always enjoy asking a group of professionals – “What comes to mind when I say the term Networking”?   People typically mention images of handshakes, business card exchanges, after work cocktails, schmoozing, door prizes, nametags and bad food.

As the brainstorm continues I notice several in the group respond non-verbally with scrunched up faces and looks of distaste.  Then one brave soul voices what the others are thinking – “People trying to sell you stuff”.

STOP right there Kimosabe!  I have heard enough.  I will debunk that misperception right here and right now!

Networking in its purest form is about building relationships with others. Regardless of the motivation or intent, networking is an avenue to meet and establish a level of trust among people.  Remember: People do business with those they like and trust!  Networking is an amazing skill!  Anyone you encounter and every time you engage in a conversation you are expanding and enhancing your network.

Sales Trainers were early adopters of networking as a valuable tactic within their sales methodology.  Networking derived a negative stigma by many due to guilt by association of being a component of the Sales funnel, as many professionals have a negative perception of Sales and Salespeople.  Do not interpret my comment above as being derogatory on Sales or Sales Professionals as without Sales and Salespeople, no company would exist or remain viable.  Sales are the economic lifeblood of any organization.

The distinction between Sales and  Networking:  Often sales is masked as networking. Sales can be seen as a motivation for networking, since it requires some basis of relationship, but to me the intent and objectives are clearly different.  If you are selling (a product, service, solution) that is your ultimate goal to close a sale, make the deal and move on to the next.  Networking intent involves a sincere effort to get to know and understand the other person.  As many of us have been the recipients for both Sales and Networking approaches, we can attest to the ease of distinguishing the motives.

In a new relationship, as soon as you start selling, the other person stops listening.  Your motives and agenda are clear.  You do not truly have an interest in the other person, only the business opportunity they can bring to you.  Think of all the times you have met someone new who all they did was brag about themselves (selling) or what they do (selling) or how they have a solution for you (selling).  Now how engaged and excited were you in that conversation?  Bet you couldn’t wait till it was over!  Whether a date or a business meeting, such an approach is an immediate turn off!  Try deactivating your Sales button and just be you.

Primary Difference: In a sales process the goal of the interaction between two people is the eventual sale of a product or service. When networking, the goal is a relationship; wherever it may lead. A sale could be the consequence, but never the goal of networking.

Below is a comparison to help illustrate the differences between Selling and Networking.

An actual occurrence depicting the distinction between a Selling vs. Networking approach.

Situation: Dan, an Account Executive for a national wireless service attends a luncheon where he sits by Steve, the Managing Partner of a local CPA firm.

The Sales Approach

Drumming up a conversation, Dan immediately shows Steve his new Android phone and explains with all the Apps how this device can make a professional’s life much more efficient.

Putting on his sales hat and natural charisma, Dan works his magic to convince Steve of the efficiency gains and benefits of switching the current plan to his company’s faster 4G network.  Of course this includes course replacing the outdated blackberries with new Android Smartphone for the 10 partners in the office.

Patting himself on the back with a new client, Dan considers the lunch a success.  A $25 lunch yields an $1800 new contract!  “My My, what an ROI”, Dan proclaims.  Steve has not heard from Dan since signing the paperwork.  Dan loses the contract in 18 months to a lower priced competitor.

The Networking Approach
Over lunch, Dan demonstrates his interest in Steve as a person much more than his role in as Managing Partner of a prestigious local CPA firm.  He learns that Steve is originally from the Northeast and moved South because of a job his wife took at the local University. They have 2 children one 12 and the other a sophomore in high school.  Steve is an avid basketball fan and attends all the local games to watch his eldest daughter on the cheer team.  He learns that Steve is an avid outdoorsman and looking for a new family camper. Dan recalls that a friend of his has a nearly brand new camper for sale. He shares this info with Steve and gives Steve the contact information. Weeks later Dan gets a call from his friend that the camper has a new owner – Steve.

Several months pass, Dan and Steve have traded emails just to check in.  Steve casually mentions that his daughter broke her cell phone at school and Dan mails Steve a used one from his store that he can’t sell.

One day, Dan receives a call from Steve who serves on the board of a large construction firm and shares that during the last meeting the President mentioned that they are deciding to bid their cellular contract.  Steve recommends Dan to the President and sets up a meeting. After a 30 minute chat with the company President, Dan gets the nod on a new contract to equip and manage their 300+ field operatives’ phones and tablets.

Dan returns to his office and calls Steve to offer sincere Thanks and just before hanging up, Dan says “Steve please let me know if I can ever help you with anything”.

The next time you approach someone new or sit down at a luncheon, remember the story of Dan and Steve.  Consider the long term perspective and future benefits of networking!

Networking is about being yourself, not selling.  So unscrunch your face and put that smile in its place.

Go Forth and network!

You should clear your calendar for all the meetings you will have as I am confident those folks will line up to do business with you. While you are waiting, consider using those cards to sturdy a table leg, kindle a fire in wintertime or practice your origami.

For the rest of you who want to continually advance and forge relationships, I strongly suggest you fulfill the most critical part of networking, The Follow Up.  (insert dramatic theme music)  Appropriately re-connecting with people shortly after you meet sends the message.  I am serious about a relationship, proactive and willing to invest the time and effort.

Following up is an art more than a science. Thus, there is not one best method nor one right way.  I have offered some insight and practical advice on following up appropriately as well as common pitfalls to avoid – learned over many years of mistakes & successes.

Set a goal for following up:

Getting a face to face meeting
Suggest someone they should want to meet
Requesting to send information
Extend an invite for coffee or lunch

You will become more adept as you practice and learn as you continually place yourself in situations to meet new people to hone upon key facts that you can use later as you plan out a follow up strategy.

I use the word appropriate above because following up with a template email or mailing out all your marketing materials (unless requested) are not appropriate and may help you stand out, but not in a good way.

Get Organized:

Sort your business cards by priority:
First, those whom you want to contact immediately within 48 hours of the initial meeting
The next list should be those you shall contact within a week
The rest you will contact within 3 weeks.

Follow Up – Be Creative and Sincere:

Always strive to make yourself memorable and distinguish yourself in a positive light.  When re-connecting, reference a part of your conversation such as: Something funny that you shared:

Steer clear of anything racy or off-color

A personal facet of that person’s life. Examples: Recommend a restaurant or book for an upcoming trip, Ask about her dog following surgery or inquire about the outcome of a child’s soccer game.

Personalization speaks volumes that you were actually listening and interested in what someone was saying.  Be sure to incorporate your goal into the follow up communication and indicate your desired outcome.

Which Method?

Handwritten Notes: Everyone loves to get mail.  Handwritten notes are ideal and certainly portray your personality and desire to invest the time in fostering a relationship. This should always be your first choice for your highest priority contacts.  Check out www.sendoutcards.com for an innovative tool to automate this process.

Enter reality; recognizing one doesn’t always possess the time to write notes, utilize email and phone as viable secondary options.

Voicemail:  Utilize phone calls when you need to communicate your energy and attitude.  Make sure you smile and are in a good mood, as your voice will reflect your state of mind.

Email:  Good for a quick note or when time is of the essence.  Craft a clear and attention getting subject line to get thru the clutter. Email works well in conjunction with a voicemail or handwritten note to let someone know you will contact them.

A Few Parting Tips

Strike Outs:  Not everyone will reciprocate and respond to your follow up attempts.  For whatever reason, they may not see the value in fostering a relationship.  I suggest you try no more than 3 times and utilize at least two different methods. After that, let time pass and opportunity to cross paths may emerge again.

Don’t be a Stalker:  We all admire persistence and determination, but there comes a point at which these attributes transform to annoyance and aggravation for the recipient.  Consider how many times you would want someone trying to contact you and let your discretion lead. Once you enter the realm of pestering, its nearly impossible to return.  You will likely forever doom any potential relationship, as you will be someone to avoid. (Does not apply if someone owes you money!)

Planning:  If possible write out and read your intended message before you call, mail or email – make sure you leave a positive impression.  For a voicemail you may want to practice out loud.

Be Prepared. You may call with the intent to leave a voicemail. Others I know deliberately send an email or call during non work hours. In the event someone answers the phone or returns an email immediately, you need to be prepared to have a conversation.  People often hide behind technology or purposely use odd hours to make contact, such tactics are transparent to others and often create a negative perception.   If you must make such contact at late hours, I recommend you include a quick apology or reason in the communication. You don’t want someone to think they are not important enough to be contacted during prime business hours.

Accepting NO. As children, NO is one of the first words we learn, but even as adults we don’t take hearing it well.  When you make a request, ask for a meeting or invite someone to lunch ask in a manner that allows them to say NO and more importantly feel comfortable in doing so.  Creating this level of comfort demonstrates your professionalism and leaves time to move on to the next promising relationship.

Professionals are too often content with obtaining business cards and entering contact information into Outlook.  Without following up to promote another opportunity to interact, a relationship can never develop.  Be proactive and diligent in connecting with people you meet and you shall set yourself apart from the vast majority.  Appropriate and sincere follow up will ultimately lead to meaningful and fruitful relationships.

Relationships are the catalyst for success.  Make sure to start some.

What this means to me is simply – be respectful of their time and intelligence.  No one has time to read a three or four paragraph letter or email, or listen to a 5 minute voice mail.  Nor, do they wish to immediately receive your sales and marketing materials without knowing that you remember meeting them.  While networking is a tool used by many salespeople to further their career, leaving the sales pitch out of your initial follow up will help the relationship go further, faster.

Follow up etiquette follows the same basic rules as business writing, with just a few specific nuances.

1.      Use a notecard whenever possible.  It only takes 3-5 minutes to handwrite a note and the impression will be deeper and last substantially longer.

Four sentences should do it:

a.     Thank them for their time and state that you enjoyed meeting them
b.     Remind them where you met – this can be combined with #1 when appropriate
c.     Reference your conversation – one element only
d.     Wrap up with an offer to meet again or be of service

For a follow up card innovation, check out www.sendoutcards.com/sbn - an incredible tool to automate follow up with a mailed card and still being able to offer the personalized touch.

2.      If a notecard is not available, or if the individual mentioned email being the best way to make contact, do so.  Use the same format as #1.

3.      It’s tempting with email to attach your company brochure or, to use your “prospecting letter”.  We advise against this for the initial follow up.  Keep the initial communiqué short, concise and focused on reconnecting with them.

4.      If the person requested additional information about your business or company, send it under separate cover.  Let the notecard or email stand on it’s own as a true “thank you”.

5.      Timeliness is critical!  If you meet someone and don’t follow up within 24-48 hours, they will likely have a hard time remembering you.  Don’t waste your valuable networking efforts – follow up quickly to help solidify the relationship immediately.

6.      Don’t forget the telephone!  If you’ve made a strong connection with a new contact and they’ve agreed to begin the relationship quickly, make a phone call.

a.       If you get voice mail – don’t be long-winded…  use the same 4 points discussed in #1 to leave a short and concise “thank you” on their voice mail.  Leave your name and phone number twice – at the beginning and, again, at the end.

b.      If you speak directly to them…  GREAT!  Set a time to get together again.  But, be mindful of their time.

As you can see, etiquette for following up an initial meeting is quite simple and doesn’t need to take a great deal of time; even to do it right.  A couple of good resources for business writing can be found at Amazon.com; they are:

1.   Get to the Point, by  Elizabeth Danziger
2.   E-writing:  21st Century Tools for Effective Communication, by Dianna Booher (I’ve seen her speak – she’s amazingly talented!)
3.   The Business Style Handbook: An A-to-Z Guide for Writing on the Job with Tips from Communications Experts at Fortune 500 Companies, by Helen Cunningham

We are all confronted with the daunting challenge of entering a room filled with hundreds of strangers yapping and shaking hands. We want to be like them, the carefree and confident, those that seem to smile and waive to everyone – they just walk by and are drawn into a new conversation.

Does this saga sound familiar?  Before you leave you try to convince yourself you have more work and your time is best served staying in the office, but damn you RSVPed!  While you drive to the venue you are already dreading the experience, thinking you can still go back to the office. By the time you park and are walking to your destination your heart beats faster, you start to think how short you can make your cameo appearance and leave.

As you enter you are overwhelmed by the crowd, your hands are clammy – so you wipe them off in case you have to actually shake someone’s hand.  You have no clue where to go first – then off in the distance like an oasis rising from the Sahara desert you spot the safety net of the buffet and bar!

First of all most people in this world as just like you – Introverted!  Second – being introverted is fabulous and don’t ever think anything less!  We need our own theme song!  So recognize who you are and be proud.

We cannot change our DNA, but here are some techniques to ease the anxiety level and make group networking experiences more manageable & comfortable.

Volunteer – Sign up to volunteer if possible. This affords you the status of being knowledgeable about the event and able to help others. Mentally you now have an official reason for being there.  Think of yourself as more than just the regular attendee – you are part of the host team!

Early Bird – Much of the intimidation factor is the sheer size of the audience.  So arrive very early – even offer to help set up. This gives you a chance to meet the organizers and other volunteers in a small setting.  Busy work will help take your mind off the event and knowing the hosts make you feel like a part of the team.  Often they will repay you for your help by making some introductions.

Don’t Worry, Be Comfy – You will feel how you dress.  You are already going to be nervous and stiff so don’t make it worse by wearing an itchy wool suit or stuffing yourself into an outfit you don’t really like and doesn’t flatter you.  Wear something that you believe you look good in – if you think you look good you will feel good.  Wear something comfortable – don’t push the envelope with flip flops and Bermuda shorts, but if you prefer a suit – wear one you really like, if you typically dress casual then allow yourself to be comfortable and still look professional. Caveat – Take into account the dress code of the event and don’t go to an extreme on either side.

Co-Pilot – Attend with a friend who is in a different business and help each other navigate the crowd.  If you can go with someone who is more extroverted that is even better, but the goal is having a wingman/woman.  It’s much easier and less stressful to travel in a group.  You can take turns introducing each other to new people and allow your friend to brag about you.   As a dynamic duo you can approach others as a team and neither of you will feel all alone in a swirling sea of networkers.

Seek out your fellow Introverts – Like a beached whale they are often not hard to spot – look against the walls, columns or other obstacles where they frequently attempt to camouflage themselves into the room!  Others will stand in the middle with their snack observing the action all around trying to be invisible.  Approach such folks and introduce yourself – they are just as uncomfortable and anxious as you.  This allows you to practice approaching others.  You may even find a buddy to work the room with.

Set Goals – Much like a fear of heights – A Fear of networking and interacting among a room of strangers cannot be conquered in one day.  Baby Steps.  Do not expect to incorporate all these suggestions at once.  Integrate them slowly into your practice.  Goals aid this process. Never commit to yourself to stay for a period of time – all you will do is monitor your watch like its 10 minutes to midnight on New Years Eve.  Set goals that involve meeting people: Commit to introducing yourself to 5 new people and reconnecting with 5 others you already know to catch up.  When you reach your goals you can leave, patting yourself on the back all the way out the door for a job well done.

Follow Up – You have overcome your doubts, fought through discomfort and achieved your goals!  Don’t waste all that energy and exciting progress by not following up with those you met.  This is the crucial step!  How you respond sets the tone for who you are and how others remember you.  Send each person an individual message, be it a phone call, email or note card – make it memorable and personalize the message.  No room for generic stuff here!  For those whom you want to meet again, simply invite them to have lunch or coffee.

Face to Face – This is where you shine!  You can engage in a one on one conversation and truly spend energy getting to know someone on a personal and professional level.  Relationships start with a face to face conversation.  Such meetings are why you endured ands pushed yourself.  Don’t launch into your sales pitch or dominate the conversation. Show genuine interest in them as a person – what they do outside work, their family, dreams etc.  Think – how can you help them in terms of connecting them with others you know?  They are testing your human being factor.  Make sure you pass.

Yet, every employee within an organization represents their own network of endless relationships simply waiting to be discovered.

Whether you work with a small company or large corporation, invest the time to get to know your fellow associates.  From the receptionist to the CEO, everyone possesses key relationships.  You never know who someone went to school with, is related to or worked with in a prior career.

Be proactive and sincere in learning about your co-workers and connect the dots on how your relationships could help them and where their contacts could help you.  Begin building your internal network at all levels with both your peers and superiors.

What can you do to build such relationships?

Some ideas:

• Eat in the company break room
• Invite others to go to lunch together
• Take your boss to lunch
• Find a mentor within your company
• Organize a company sports team
• Start a regular happy hour group
• Coordinate a company picnic

By creating opportunities to interact outside the office, you will get to know the person not just their title. Not only will your work environment be a more pleasant and rewarding experience, but you will ultimately find hidden treasures.

Making it Happen:

From the corporate perspective, larger institutions such as banks and professional firms often struggle to foster internal relationships among professionals across departments in order to better serve clients and cross sell services.  For such a culture to thrive, employees must be afforded opportunities to develop strong internal relationships based on mutual trust. Unless professionals can forge relationships, they will always remain reluctant and fearful to share their clients and open up those relationship to others.  Those organizations whom are able to successfully establish this environment reap the long term rewards of teamwork and collaboration.

How else would you uncover that Alan in accounting grew up with the CEO of your hottest prospect?

Proven tactics:

• Inter-departmental events
• Company socials/outings
• Company directory with headshots and bios
• Recognition & Awards banquets
• Formal networking opportunities
• Networking training with cross section of all departments
• Company newsletter spotlighting several employees
• Form a diverse committee to plan events

A few tips:  At events, always assign seating arrangements to enable people to sit with those they do not know and strive to deliver training sessions which include multiple departments or disciplines.

Make a concerted and sustained initiative to promote employees working and socializing together.  Provide opportunities for them to interact both inside and out of the office so relationships can form beyond the cubicle.

In today’s hyper competitive landscape, those organizations that embrace and understand the power of internal relationships unleash an incredible force to enhance teamwork, reduce turnover and most importantly expand a company’s circle of influence!

Mirroring the explosion in utilization of online dating, chat rooms and blogging to forge personal relationships, today’s professionals are just beginning to harness the power of online technologies to develop professional relationships.  Online networking resources have emerged to enable busy people to pursue new connections on their own schedules and outside the confines of a traditional networking event or group.

For today’s busy professional time is our most precious resource. Integrating online networking into your overall strategy is critical to a balanced approach. There are several avenues to develop relationships online, which we shall mention.  Never forget that in order to forge a true relationship and foster trust, you must transfer an online connection into an offline world relationship.  Relationships form through a mutual sentiment of like and trust. The same rules apply of cultivating relationship through ongoing interactions.

Here are some proven methods to developing networking skills, relationships and trust in an online environment.

1. ENGAGE: Join an online networking community.   There are numerous online networking resources that have emerged in the past few years to enable professionals to utilize the web to build new relationships.   To name a few: Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Plaxo, Ning, Myspace and various alumni and professional online communities as well.

Regardless of which tool you choose the key is to actively engage yourself by pursuing new relationships and utilizing the resources at your disposal. Simply joining and having a profile is not enough. Invest the time and energy to make a sincere effort to connect with new people and develop relationships. This will be a new concept to some; others of you will realize quickly that you can develop real and valuable relationships with others in cyber space.

2. COMMUNICATE: Create an e-mail newsletter. First organize your contacts by creating an e-mail database of clients, customers and friends.  Send content on a regular basis (I recommend starting with a monthly cycle) which offers insight about your industry, emerging trends, problems you have helped clients solve and other information that would be of interest to the reader.  Keep articles succinct and relevant.  Try profiling clients and offering tips, advice and ideas.  The intent of the newsletter is to expand awareness and direct readers to your website. Ask and encourage clients, partners and even prospects to contribute to your content. A simple gesture offers a powerful opportunity to build stronger relationships and generates positive exposure for your best advocates. I recommend you either use an email service or at the minimum develop a customized and professional looking template to use for all your newsletters.  Remember your newsletter is a reflection of you and your company’s image.

3. BLOG: Start blogging or writing for a website or e-newsletter.  We all possess expertise or information within a certain arena related to our industry, hobbies, volunteer involvement etc.   Begin building your personal “online brand” by sharing your thoughts, ideas, opinions and information with others.  Start a blog of your own within one of the larger blogger sites or online communities. As people read your content and learn from your comments they will glean insight into you as a person.  Reading another person’s thoughts and communication style engenders a sense of “knowing you” which is integral to the networking process. Try to post a minimum of once per month and more as you become comfortable.

Demonstrating knowledge in an area, willingness to share and writing regularly about it will truly help create a brand and offer a forum to build relationships with others who share similar interests or seek knowledge. Keep your comments professional and try to convey your interest in helping others.  Respond to others’ postings and share an opinion. Posting within relevant groups/communities is a great way to gain visibility, which creates credibility and eventually new relationship opportunities. The more you are visible: read, interacted with and talked about; the more visibility you’ll gain within any given online community.  Carefully select which online blog networks or communities / groups to join and keep the number manageable, otherwise you won’t have time to be effective.

4. TRUST: Maintain online integrity.  Even when making professional connections online, the same rules apply.  You must focus on cultivating sincere and honest relationships with others.  This is the only avenue to foster a sense of mutual trust and a reciprocal liking.  People do business with those they like and trust.  Even online you can begin to build this foundation by being honest and sincere in who you are, what you write and how you respect others.

Although technology streamlines and accelerates the capacity to establish new connections, in order to transform an online connection into a real relationship one must ultimately find time and opportunity to engage others thru multiple mediums and ideally strive to meet in person. Email, phone conversations, handwritten notes and in person meetings should be integrated as you build a stronger relationship. Nothing will ever replace the live human interaction.

Slowly seek to progress the relationship thru these additional contact outlets which enable you to portray a more 3D view of yourself.  Once you’ve established that foundation of trust, you’ll start feeling more comfortable referring your contacts and vice versa. Remember that writing inherently possesses many limitations on communicating who you are as a person. The person on the other end someone cannot look you in the eyes, hear inflections in your tone or watch your body language, so expect that trust may develop slower solely thru online communication. Prepare for misunderstandings to occur and deal with them appropriately.

5. INTEGRATE: Online rules are unique.  With the protection of a keyboard, people online often behave differently than in person. Introverts can be much less inhibited and others exaggerate their abilities and influence.  People are often very short and concise in their statements, different from how they may speak. This is not intended to be rude, but simply the standard operating procedure for online communication.  With online networking, experience shows that people feel at ease being direct; short, sweet and to the point.  Very often coming across as aggressive and biting. Most importantly people are often more bold and blunt online since they don’t have to interact in person or deal with a live reaction. They will ask for and say things that in the offline world one would likely never address towards a total stranger. You will learn simply by doing  and making mistakes. When in doubt, ask someone to clarify a statement that you are unsure of or may misinterpret.

Be cautious and careful with sharing personal information.  Approach every contact with healthy skepticism and remember there are evil people out there in cyber space, masquerading as wolves in sheep’s clothing.  Progress a relationship slowly and be cautious of those who are demanding, asking inappropriate questions or persistent for obtaining personal information. Invest time upfront and only share when you feel comfortable.

Harnessing technology to build relationships is a powerful resource that in today’s world every professional must utilize to enhance their network. Now you can engage in true networking opportunities from the comfort of your desk or couch 24 hours a day. Utilize online networking to complement your live tactics and to provide a targeted avenue to pursue relationships locally or across the globe.

Contact me @ adam@sbncorp.com with any questions or comments.

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Remember, every time you meet someone new – you have the opportunity to network.  Networking is a lifelong endeavor as you continue to forge new relationships and cultivate those connections you have made over time.  Networking is never about an immediate need or desire, but more so to help others and better prepare yourself for success in the years ahead.

Our tips for an effective season of networking:

1. RELAX AND ENJOY YOURSELF!! – First and foremost, this time is stressful enough, so remove your game face, your zealous handshake and put your sales pitch on vacation – just immerse yourself in having some fun and camaraderie. Really get to know the people you meet; it’s time to share some stories or even a few jokes. People are happy this time of year so enjoy their company and if you have to… commiserate on the pathetic performance of your favorite football team.

2. Say “Thanks.” – For those in your network who referred you a potential client, introduced you to a new contact or helped you in any fashion, send them an email, a handwritten note or holiday card – telling them how much you appreciate their support and look forward to the coming year. Demonstrate that you truly value their contribution to your success and their role in your network. Reinforce that you will and want to help them in any way you can.  Everyone loves to feel appreciated!

3. Attend holiday mixers and parties – Take advantage of the season and attend those parties you want as well as those where you feel obligated.  Each offers a unique opportunity to meet new people and begin to establish some new contacts to pursue in the year ahead. If you are party hopping, first and foremost – be safe and responsible!  WE want to see you networking next year as well!! Attend for an hour – mingle and catch up with some familiar faces then make a point to talk to two new people at each party.  Before your exit, make sure to thank the host/hostess and congratulate them on a wonderful event.

4. Play the gracious host – Whether you are tied directly to an event or not, always strive to maintain the demeanor of a host.  Greet people as they enter, offer to get refreshments or food for others.  Make a special effort to talk to those who appear more introverted and casually invite them into your conversation or connect them with others. You will be remembered for your kindness and playing the host sends a clear message of your confidence.

5. Connect people – Scroll through your rolodex and identify which of your contacts would benefit from meeting one another.  Invite them to join you at mixers or holiday parties and make the introductions.  Your contacts will certainly be happy they met some new people and you will benefit from being the point of connection.  Your efforts here demonstrate your desire to help them succeed and that you are thinking about them.

6. Personal Invitations – Make a special effort to personally call or email some of your contacts and invite them as your guest to a holiday mixer or suggest you will meet them there as an opportunity to catch up.  Often people are more likely to attend such social functions if they know that others whom they know will be there. They will remember the fact you personally invited them.  For those whom are more introverted, ask someone to go with you and share a car then you can arrive together and more comfortably immerse yourself in the festivities.

7. Pace Thyself – There are more holiday gatherings that one can imagine, so if you are fortunate to be invited to many such events, make sure to pace yourself and not overindulge. Certainly your focus should be enjoying yourself, but make sure to know your limits on alcohol and make an effort to drink a glass of water and try those tasty hors d’oeuvres.  After all you don’t want to be remembered for the wrong reasons!! Nor be the one they talk about as the “incident” from the last holiday party!

8. Maintain a positive outlook – No matter what is going on in your professional or personal worlds, smile and be positive!!  Express your excitement for the coming year.  No one likes a party pooper or negativity during this time of year. SCROOGES STAY AT HOME!!

9. Get to know thy office mates - Often in larger companies people barely know those working next to them or even on a different floor.  If your firm has an office party – make an effort to meet and begin to build a rapport with others in your company. These folks can be one of your most powerful allies and referral sources if they just know what you do and create a face rather than merely the “Sales” department.

10. Mistletoe Manners! – The ultimate holiday dilemma!  What is appropriate? Nearly every party has someone running amuck with mistletoe or strategic placed this amorous item in concealed locations. Either way; appearing at an inopportune moment. Our recommendation: A hug is a man’s best friend! Dare you be more risqué – a quick peck on the cheek.  Beyond that – you have transitioned from networking to romance and you should ask Dr. Phil for his advice.

Believe it or not, speed-networking is just what it sounds like – quick, focused opportunities to meet those who can propel your career and business.  And, YES, it does really work!  We all desire to accelerate our careers and get on the fast track to success, with speed-networking, you can accelerate your networking.  You can meet more quality contacts and actually have meaningful conversations in just one event than any other method!

Speed-networking is FUN and EFFECTIVE.  Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, young in your career or experienced – you will enjoy meeting people in this type of format.  Strategic Business Network is a firm believer in putting people face-to-face to facilitate direct conversation.  QuikConnect™ (SBN’s speed networking format) is set up as a series of one-on-one mini-meetings.  Half the participants stay seated, while the other half rotate in a sequential process to a new professional after each 4-5 minute exchange.

A few other different styles of speed-networking include:

Roundtable – Typically 7 people sit down at a table and each person has 1-2 minutes to share their elevator pitch. After all have spoken, each participant moves to a new table.

Triad – three people per table with one remaining seated throughout the rotations.  After 6 minutes, the other two move in opposite directions around the room.

But, how does it work to help you achieve success?

First, Without a doubt you will meet more people in a short timeframe than ever before.
Second,All those who participate are like you in that they have invested their time and energy to build their network. Third, Listen and Listen.  There is no time for selling, simply have a conversation and learn about what each new connection as both an individual and professional – ie, who they are, what they do.
Fourth and most important – Follow Up is the key.  Speed-networking delivers high volume and quality connections, but you must follow up and begin to cultivate the relationships. The initial interaction is only the starting point for each of your new potential relationships.

Consider all the new people you can now help by knowing what they do and in turn who can help you!  Imagine attending even one speed-networking event per month, you will more than likely meet over 400 new people throughout the year.  And, if you do it right, you can leave a lasting impression making sure those 400 people in your community REMEMBER you.

After nearly 5 years of executing speed networking events and creating over 500,000 new connections, the testimonials from participants who gained new clients, projects, jobs and friendships continues to amaze me. I confidently will place a properly run speed networking session against any other networking event format and feel assured the outcomes will be far greater.

If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend it.  In today’s world, networking is critical from the receptionist to the CEO.  Speed-networking offers an efficient and effective tool to propel your career and expand your influence!   Never has networking been this fun and this rewarding.

Visit www.strategicbusinessnetwork.com for events and opportunities near you!